I’m not going to lie, I was pretty bummed that we hadn’t made any elaborate plans for our 1st wedding anniversary on Sunday. I knew we would go out to dinner but for some reason this just was not getting my pulse going. I needed something a little more luxurious that wasn’t going to break the bank. I turned to Mr C & I said; ”Please can we just see if there are any dinner, bed & breakfast deals somewhere?” bearing in mind this was 2.30pm on the day of our anniversary. I was determined we weren’t just going to let it pass by. Granted, Mr C had gone out and bought me some of the most beautiful flowers and yes, his card actually made me weep the morning I opened it as he put something ”semi-romantic” in it, which in my eyes means a lot coming from someone who isn’t quite the most romantic man in the world. We had off-loaded the dog already so I needed something, anything!
13.10pm. I know the time specifically because only 5 minutes before our good friend and one of our ushers was trying to force a pint of Stella down my neck before we set off in the wedding car. I can’t say that this was my finest moment and not quite how I had expected it to all start. This post marks exactly 365 days of marriage & since I walked up the aisle to meet my future Husband. Funnily enough days before my heart was racing in the same spot whilst we did a rehearsal of the wedding. Strangely my heart wasn’t pumping in quite the same, scary way. It felt natural. The last 2 years of planning had been a momentous affair. From the venue, to the food, to the bridesmaid dresses. Everything was from scratch so everything took meticulous planning to make sure everything ran smoothly. Suffice to say, it did. Without a hiccup. I was ready to finally do it & I had been since the 26th October 2012 (the day he proposed.)
If there is one thing that makes me super happy, it’s reminiscing back to six months ago on our very special wedding day. I’ve rambled from start to finish & then some more about our imperfectly perfect day back in June 2014. I’m terrible, but I still haven’t had my dress boxed & dry cleaned which is at the top of my to-do list this year. I want to cherish that dress with my life. It holds so many magical moments in the delicate lace. I had a vision that I would also dry my flowers, or at least some of the gypsophila (baby’s breath to you & I!) to hang in a beautiful, vintage style frame. I knew exactly what I wanted. So when I browsed The Other Duckling I found the most perfect thing. After watching one of Zoella’s old youtube videos a while back she had something similar that I just knew I had to have. This gorgeous Memory Frame retails at £12.95 & it really is perfect for framing my dried gypsophila. In an amongst the website there were some beautiful vintage pieces that were perfect for any home finishing touches! I’m creating something of a montage on our living room wall which, when I have my fabulous Thomas Kent Wall Clock & a commissioned Amsterdam piece from Sian Lewis Original City Artwork all framed & amongst other bits and pieces I will be sure to share it with you. I’m all about making our home a home now the wedding is over & I could not be more excited!
I think I had a mini mid-twenties crisis on my blogging hiatus. I’m 25 next month, no biggie? A whole quarter of a century and halfway to fifty. You can probably hear the sound of me hitting my head against the laptop whilst you read this. In fact there is a whole wikipedia post on the matter!
Whilst I took my hiatus, I thought at the time it was a perfect opportunity to relax and not have to worry about scheduling posts and how many hits the page had. It was going to be a time to just not have to think about anything, really. Looking back on that period I realised whilst it was good for my blogging soul, that month I tortured myself with other things to replace the blogging void in my life.
Rightmove. I love looking at houses at the best of times, but this website consumed me for a whole month. Ever find yourself lusting after a house? Yeah, me too. But, instead of just looking at them on the website I decided I was going to to book two viewings, luckily, my current Husband & I (I say ‘’current’’ as I swear he wanted to kill/divorce me after receiving email after email of suggested homes we should go view!) was saved as one had just been taken off the market. We went to view the house, it was ok, I obviously went in to it with my head over heart but it was a good job the other half was there to keep me in real world & thankfully we didn’t end up with a mortgage the size of the whole universe.
My mind had been plagued with thoughts of babies. God help me?! I was obsessed with the fact we needed a bigger house for the eventualities that a brood might bring, because our little two up/two down would not cope with this. What?! I mean, Mr C & I know we don’t want to hear the tiny sound of pitter patters anytime soon, but for some reason I could not stop thinking about it. I even had a little weep when he told me that ‘’it wouldn’t be anytime soon.’’ I really had hit rock bottom.
You’re all probably groaning at my apparent meltdown because really, 25 is no age at all. I’ve bought a house, I’m married and I have a really good job that I enjoy. In fact most of you will think that I have done too much, too soon. Whilst you’re all probably right, I would not change it for the world.
I have some wonderful things in my life, that I am so grateful for! I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t switch off and blogging is a tool that helps me keep focussed even if it is just typing a few random words every now & then. I also need to remember to live in the now and stop thinking about if’s and but’s of the future. What will be, will be. Que cera, cera!
25 is an exciting age where you can enjoy so much and live in the now!
Of course, my post ends happily because I feel like I have had an epiphany, I have so much to look forward to and I am just enjoying my little space on the world wide web too. So, if anyone else had a mid-twenties crisis in the run up to the (big) TWO FIVE, I would love to hear from you and how you dealt with it or are you going through it now? In which case, let me know so we can soldier on through this together!
If you need a little pick me up, please join me as a regular host of the #HappySelves chat over on twitter, every first Monday of the month (starting 3rd November 2014) it’s a lovely chat where we all share good vibes and I would love you to join me on this one as it will mark a week of me turning 25, I might need you
It was always going to happen. The wedding would fly past us and would be over as fast as you can say “I do” and we would be certain of our reality. Married life.
I wondered & wondered in the 18 month run up to our day of how I would cope after the excitement, the stress, the planning and the all round overwhelming experience of a wedding after it had all happened.
Everyone gives you advice on what you should and shouldn’t do for a wedding. Everyone has their two penneths worth of thoughts and feelings of what constitutes a good wedding. But no one prepares you for after that day?
I was definitely scared. Scared that I wouldn’t have any other hobbies or big events to plan afterwards. What would my spare time be doing now?
Well I can tell you, after a few little teary moments after we got back off honeymoon. I can assure you with two little words. IT’S FINE.
You don’t need to worry anymore for all you brides to be. It’s fine.
You can finally buy that handbag you’ve wanted without worrying about the wedding fund. It’s fine.
Your nights aren’t spent bickering about who sits with who and what flavour the cake should be. It’s fine.
You don’t have squabbling bridesmaid to make happy anymore. It’s fine.
And most importantly, you have your brand new husband or wife staring back at you everyday knowing that they have given you their heart and will now live your happy lives together. IT. IS. FINE.
If I had known this I think I would have relaxed more. It’s not about all the fact planning and what not, what really matters is that you have a happy marriage at the end of it all. That’s the key. You can have buttercream icing on your cake, you can peonies and roses in your bouquet, you can have the fancy smancy stuff. But what you will ALWAYS have is your lifelong partner.
For all of you wondering and for those of you who are not (yes, nothing I have wrote today is groundbreaking!) if Mr C & I survived it all. And the answer is yes, we did what we wanted through & through! We are more stronger than ever. He is my rock and everyday I just want to make him smile. The feeling is mutual. Despite people proclaiming that “a piece of paper means nothing!” I can assure you it has for us. I cannot wait for the next time that I can refer to him as my husband, the next time I look at him playing with his wedding band… It is just a lovely, peaceful feeling inside.
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