13.10pm. I know the time specifically because only 5 minutes before our good friend and one of our ushers was trying to force a pint of Stella down my neck before we set off in the wedding car. I can’t say that this was my finest moment and not quite how I had expected it to all start. This post marks exactly 365 days of marriage & since I walked up the aisle to meet my future Husband. Funnily enough days before my heart was racing in the same spot whilst we did a rehearsal of the wedding. Strangely my heart wasn’t pumping in quite the same, scary way. It felt natural. The last 2 years of planning had been a momentous affair. From the venue, to the food, to the bridesmaid dresses. Everything was from scratch so everything took meticulous planning to make sure everything ran smoothly. Suffice to say, it did. Without a hiccup. I was ready to finally do it & I had been since the 26th October 2012 (the day he proposed.)
As I walked up the aisle it was like I was completely blind. I knew I was smiling (like a lunatic) but I can’t remember who at or who was I nervously giggling to. All I wanted to see was my husbands face and it’s pretty much all I can recall as I walked up the tight aisle space. He grinned at me. He’s not one for emotions, but I could see in his eyes that he was excited too. It was a lovely service, ran by our local vicar who is quite frankly, the Vicar of Dibley comes to Yorkshire. She kept us strong and going at times and offered such lovely words. It was a great service and not just because it was ours, but because it felt homely, not staged or over the top. Our little country wedding without the glitz and glam.
I have previously spoke of all the different elements of the day, but as today marks our one year anniversary I wanted to pen my thoughts over the last year of marriage. They say it’s the toughest milestone to get through and I’m pretty chuffed we are at the other side now.
Being with someone for over 8 years, marriage doesn’t make it much different to the life you already live. I can assure you most of the time it’s just the ring on your finger that reminds you of the vows you once said. But, strangely enough there have been times and moments that do reiterate that you have made your commitment to one another which make me go all fuzzy and warm inside. My darling husband has always been one for just doing as he pleases, I don’t mean that in a rotten way. What I mean is, he’s not under the thumb. We spend a lot of time together so why would I ever question if he wants to go shooting or car racing? I have my blog that I am ploughing so much time and effort in to at the moment that it’s only fair we have our own hobbies. We have been brought together through marriage but I feel that we are discovering ourselves as separate entities and also what brings us together at the same time. It’s humbling.
Our relationship is filled with bickering, by Christ don’t I know it. With a dog and a house that feels like it is slowly shrinking around us, when he leaves his crap on the floor and I trip up I yelp and scream. My incessant whining drives him up the wall. But what would a relationship be if it were all light & roses all the time. When we have bickered I sometimes sit back and have a little chortle to myself because really it is never anything worth fighting about.
I’m slowly discovering what we both want out of life. Kids aren’t on the horizon soon, we’ve always known we are both selfish in the fact we want to do want we want to do. We both want to travel and make the most of being able to just jet off on a whim. I love that we are on the same page. Were heading to Mexico in September which will be our first long haul trip together. We need to see these beautiful places without the constraints of crying babes in arms. We’re both so eager to learn about other cultures and see beautiful things that pro-creating just isn’t on our mind. So please, I beg you, those who do, PLEASE STOP ASKING WHEN THE KIDS ARE COMING ALONG?!
Some days I just wake up and look at my husband. He is all mine in a really scrumptious way. He is appealing on the eye, very appealing to me anyway. I know that since we got married I have applied what can only be described as a Dunlop tyre around my midriff and arms so I’m making a conscious effort to tone up and lose some weight. Of course I am doing it for me, I want to feel good and look amazing, but there is a big part of me that wants to look goddamn hot for my husband too. If people can’t open their eyes and accept that a lot of the time that is why they want to lose weight, then I think they are lying to themselves. I’m all for #girlpower but I do want to please my man too.
Marriage really is about give and take. Rough with the smooth & all those pretentious bullshit anecdotes that people reel off to you. In the reality though, however cliché it may sound, they are true. One year has shown how strong we are as a couple/ a unit/ a family or whatever you want to refer it to & it’s so good to know that whateer the odds we are a team and we continue to grow stronger each day. We laugh together so much, he does silly things and I keel over snorting, he rolls his eyes as I spontaneously start dancing like a loon, but he loves it because it makes me, me.
I guess there really is only one thing left to say.
Mr Clayton, I love you & happy first wedding anniversary.
From your loving wife,
Bee xxx
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*All photos taken by the wonderful Jenny Prest Photography.
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