WOW. JUST BLUMMING WOW.
To say the last few weeks have been an ultimate high would be an incredible understatement. July started with a trip to Ibiza which I am still yet to finish blogging about, but the week was spent filled with quad biking trips, gorgeous views and beaches, paella and lots of San Miguel. It was also the holiday I felt brave enough to share a swimwear photo on my Instagram. The response was just amazing. It was the first step to feeling like I was happy with who I was, and who I was becoming…
You see, the back end of last year and earlier this year I was having a little bit of a crisis. There were things I hadn’t accepted growing up and things that had impacted me in more ways than I had quite realised.
There was also my career. Whilst I loved my old job, there was far too much stress that came my way with it and eventually, it all got far too much for me.
My social anxiety became hyper induced. I’d panic more and more about social situations, worried people would hate me and that I’d feel way out of my depth. I found myself declining blogging events and going on “wild Netflix binges” – my home was where I felt safest. I eventually said yes to an event that I felt happy with but even then I had a mild panic attack (that my lovely friend Rhianna managed to help with. I don’t think I said thank you enough, so here’s another one. THANK YOU!) But in my head, despite a little setback I congratulated myself for doing it and getting out.
Then I had a failed driving test and then another one. Things were so up and down for me that I never felt 100% happy with anything and it just impacted my mind set in some really bad ways. I became a nightmare to be around.
Once we booked our holiday in June I knew that was the time I could look back and reflect on everything. It would give me that head space to really work on what could make me happier in life. It sounds cliché but I really had that lightbulb moment. It was now or never that I could make the changes.
I quit my old job and found another one.
I started taking Calms for my stress and anxiety and approached life in a more “care free” attitude.
I worked out my own style / tone of voice for my blog and Instagram so I felt more authentic. More me.
Three things. Those three small things contributed to me feeling the best I’ve felt in a long time.
I change my job and I instantly felt more valued and that I was more in control of my hours. In turn this gave me more free time to enjoy creating new content for my blog and Instagram. And unbeleivably I’ve been rewarded for my hard work as I’m nominated in the #BloggersBlogAwards for Best Lifestyle Blog, Best Instagram and Best Use of Photography (you can vote for me here!) I’m incredibly humbled to even be up there once, let alone three times. I wrote a thread on Twitter that explained that once I started realising people were cheerleading me, I started to believe more in myself. So, a massive thank you to anyone who even considered me in their votes and also to the judges who felt I deserved to be shortlisted. Thank you a million times over. You’ve just helped me with another step to self acceptance.
And finally, by working on my anxiety and personality traits, to keep me more calm I finally passing my driving test which has opened up doors I never thought I knew about it. The self confidence that has come with passing this test has helped me grow as a person. It’s made me realise that I can achieve things when I approach things with a happier, clearer and more positive outlook. And not feel guilty about celebrating those achievements too.
I’ve often wallowed. Found it hard to get out of my slumps. But I’ve realised, if I want to live my best life I need to start accepting who I am. And, if there is something I’m not happy with. CHANGE IT. It’s become a little mantra of mine and boy, has it paid dividends.
So, my advice to you is if you are finding things hard, try and establish what it is that is making you feel that way and make those necessary changes to lead your happiest, most care-free, most positive life you can possibly live because I feel a million, billion, trillion times better for it.
This post is a thank you to everyone who has supported me and believed in me, even through times I haven’t been able to.
Thank you.
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