I’m no baby hater, but… | QueenBeady

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Yeah, that title probably isn’t going to sit too well with Mum’s out there. I apologise profusely if it offends you, however, why should I say sorry? I’m 25 and I’ve not had kids yet. But why do I feel like I feel like I might as well bear child? That’s where social media comes in. Everyday I will scroll through my Facebook feed of loving, adorable snaps of people’s kids, and then some more kids, oh and here’s another baby for good measure, ”Oh would you like baba with that ironic photo too?”

I realise, I sound terribly harsh, but the reality is I’m not so sure I care about your babies first ”poop on the potty” or the face they just grazed their knee. I know what you will be thinking, block them, unfriend them. But how can you do that without offending people these days. We live in such a terribly PC world that we are expected to ”coo” and ”ooh” and ”ahhh” in the right places over everyone’s sprogs, but I just don’t get the fascination. We are meant to pro-create, that’s why we are on this earth. I don’t find it extraordinary. Maybe it’s because I don’t have children & that is why I don’t understand the constant influx of child updates and statuses all the time.

A story that sparked this post was seeing a post here & yes, it is the ”Daily Fail” but still, this letter was written and sent to a mother of a 6-month old baby. And yes, I completely agree with a lot of the stuff written in the notes. Albeit, it’s pretty harshly worded but I can’t but help send a nod in their direction. They had the balls to say ”Quit yo’ jibba jabba” once and for all.

I also worry in a total ”anxiety girl” way that these photos are on the world wide web for people to see, people to track you down, horrible nasty people that use the internet for sordid purposes. I worry about what I share sometimes on social media, let alone what I’d share about children too.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the little kids that are in my life with all my dearest heart so please don’t think of me as a total baby hater.

All I’m saying is, stop and think, do we really need to see your child say on a potty doing their first wee whilst I’m chomping on my toast at 7.30am in the morning. If the answer is no, maybe don’t post it.

Am I wrong? Do you feel the same or am I being a harsh pain in the bum?

Rebecca xxx

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Ps. Queue hate.

Comments

18 responses to “I’m no baby hater, but… | QueenBeady”

April 15, 2015

Emma Buckee

This is definitely true- there’s nothing wrong with the odd cute picture if it’s relevant- like a birthday or something- but day-to-day events in the life of someone’s child should stay on their camera roll and not all over the internet! It’s like people think ‘if I don’t share it, no one will remember’ but that’s what smart phones are for. I agree that it’s scary who could see these photos people post carelessly of their half-naked children- just keep them private and enjoy your life instead of showing other people every moment :’) phew, rant over! xx

Emma | EMMABYDESIGN.

Reply
1. April 16, 2015
  
  QueenBeady
  
  Hi Emma
  I completely, wholeheartedly agree! Special, pinnacle moments are inevitably going to pop up online, I totally get that, heck I’m sure I will post milestones when I eventually have kids.
  You’ve hit the nail on the head.
  Bee xxx
  
  Reply
April 15, 2015

Jenn

Yes. Even though I have a son I totally get what you mean. People think I’m strange for not posting every little thing about him online, its not that I’m not proud, its just I know nobody else cares! And why should they?! I hate the over-sharing in the mum world, a lot of the time it feels like boasting or justification.

Great post.

PhotoJennic

Reply
1. April 16, 2015
  
  QueenBeady
  
  Jen,
  It’s so scary when you are apart from the “norm” and how you can be made to feel weird from not “over sharing” it’s a strange world we now live in.
  I agree – it’s like “ooh look at my child do this” and “oh my child is so perfect” but it all goes back to that time old classic “you can be anything you want on the internet.” You can bet your bottom dollar that as soon as the photo was taken the kid starts having a massive paddy! Haha!
  Bee xxx
  
  Reply
April 15, 2015

Jessica Marie

I totally agree. And I feel the same about weddings! For me, that main culprit is Facebook, so I just bit the bullet and unfriended the offenders. I didn’t worry about upsetting anyone, because honestly, I’ll never see them again, and admittedly, they probably felt the same about my career/degree updates!

Jessica Marie | JESMGIA

Reply
1. April 16, 2015
  
  QueenBeady
  
  Hi Jessica
  Yep yep yep! I have to say this is Facebook as the main culprit, I hardly go on or post much these days, the odd holiday snap, the odd status etc but it’s just boring. FB has become “mummy central” it’s not really that cool anymore, or maybe I’m just getting old? Haha!
  Bee xxx
  
  Reply
April 15, 2015

Lucy Johns

Totally agree with you! I think it’s just a case of, these Mums and Dad’s feel so much love and pride for their kids, they want to shout it for all the world to hear, but unfortunately, there is no mountain for them to shout from. Their best outlet is their facebook. I guess it is actually quite sweet when I sit and think about it. However, when I’m scrolling through my social media and I’m getting updates about ‘poor baby’s trapped wind’ or seeing 17 pictures of how ‘cute’ their little treasure looks while they’re sleeping, I can’t help but think, keep it to yourself. Nothing worse than over sharing!

But I’m not a baby hater either, haha! Great post 🙂

http://shebearacharmedlife.blogspot.co.uk/

Love Lucy x

Reply
1. April 16, 2015
  
  QueenBeady
  
  Oh Lucy,
  You have explained it perfectly. There is no mountain so we all have to listen at the foot of it. Haha!
  I am all for love, adoration and happy statuses etc I just wish it wasn’t rammed down your throat so much. I’m 100% with parents for loving their kids so much, but they need to realise a) other people think THEIR kids are the best too & b) some people don’t have kids who actually don’t care haha!
  It’s all about special moments & milestones if you are going to share babies online.
  Bee xxx
  
  Reply
April 15, 2015

Beth

Believe me when I say I’m currently unbelievably broody, wishing I was in a stable life situation to start having my own children but I totally agree with this post.

Some of my friends share so much about their child on Facebook and quite frankly we don’t need to know. There are ‘first’ milestones that are appropriate to share, eg. walking & talking but telling me the first time they do every little thing in life, regardless of whether its a bodily function or not is totally not necessary!

I can’t wait to have children, to share what they’re up to, what I’m up to, to post some photos but I really will not be telling everyone about their toileting habits or mundane things about what they’re eating! I might post a status if they do or say something really quite amusing but there’s a line between amusing to others and just plain boring/ gross!

I’m glad you were able to speak out about this and hopefully make a few people realise where the line is!

Beth xx

Reply
1. April 16, 2015
  
  QueenBeady
  
  Beth,
  I totally agree. When I have children I know for a fact I will share a milestone or the odd funny anecdote. Some people just don’t quite know where the line is.
  Whilst I’m 25 of course I want babies too but we are a few years off that. We want to be selfish & enjoy a child free life. I’m totally 100% open and honest about that. I’m selfish, I don’t want to share my husband nor can I be doing with sleepless nights.
  Maybe that’s why I feel the way I do about child updates etc! Haha!
  Bee xxx
  
  Reply
April 15, 2015

Milly

I’m fine with friends sharing updates on their children – and sometimes actually interested in seeing them grow up and have fun with the family. What vexes me is people who ONLY EVER post about their children – like, did you suddenly change from being a person to just a parent? I’ll have children one day, but it’ll be important to me to still have a balance in my life where I’m a human being, rather than just a Mum. I can understand how much love parents can feel for their children, but I swear sometimes it’s a competition where the more you post, the more of a ‘loving parent’ you’re trying to prove you are!

Milly // http://www.mini-adventures.com

Reply
1. April 16, 2015
  
  QueenBeady
  
  OH MY GOD MILLY, THIS. THIS THIS THIS. Do I need to say it one more time. THISSSSSS. This full stop. I know it’s a massive step to have a child and you are meant to give them the world, I truly get that, but that does not mean you can’t be your own person. I don’t even know what else to say to this because you are so so sooooo right!
  Bee xxx
  
  Reply
April 15, 2015

Gabby

Totally with you on this! I don’t have Facebook (got rid of it years ago due to reasons like these haha!) but still end up seeing a million baby pics/status’ on friends’ Instagram/Twitter! Maybe it will be us one day! Although I always tell myself NEVER BE THAT PERSON!

Hope you’re all good anyway chick hopefully will see you at an event soon 🙂

Gabby xo

Blog – What She Buys / Instagram / Twitter

Reply
1. April 16, 2015
  
  QueenBeady
  
  Hi toots,
  I don’t know why I still have FB I guess I use it mainly to stalk and keep in touch with close friends and family (oh & I’m not going to lie, looking at those people from school who were dicks making a total mess of themselves! Harsh but true!)
  For me Twitter and IG are less of a culprit to me and it’s really FB that is our main thing here.
  I was hoping to get to the City Girls event but I’m not sure if time or funds are going to allow me to get to Sheffield, I think there’s going to be a Leeds one soon though. Holla if you hear of anymore events!
  Bee xxx
  
  Reply
April 16, 2015

Laura @ Laughter is Catching

I’m close to 29. I hear what you say but i don’t think 25 is an age to give your life to looking after someone else. Be young. Be selfish. Be yourself. You’ve got plenty of time!

Reply
1. April 16, 2015
  
  QueenBeady
  
  AMEN TO THIS! I know I’m too selfish for babies, I wish people would get this. The times we get asked “ooh when you gonna have a baby” because we’re married now, YAWN. I actually get so tired of getting asked.
  Bee xxx
  
  Reply
April 16, 2015

suzymarie56

I totally feel the same as you. I was scrolling through Facebook the other day and there were literally no statuses or updates about the adults. It was all photos, videos, or stories about kids. It really pissed me off! I’ve got lots of friends with kids and I love that but, like you, I don’t need to hear about every little thing they do. I don’t have kids either so I guess I can’t fully appreciate the joy that having children must bring and how you just become obsessed with this amazing little person in your life, but I also don’t want to know everything about your kids and nothing about you. It’s boring. xx

Reply
1. April 16, 2015
  
  QueenBeady
  
  Hahaha! Seriously it is Facebook that’s the worst! I hardly post anymore now. Or go on it for that matter.
  That’s exactly it, I want to see that you are also a human who has other things to say other than you are a mum. I think everyone has so much more to give! I’m just one of those people that likes to see variation, it’s the same with reading blogs!
  Bee xxx
  
  Reply